Yesterday

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Yesterday, I revisited my Facebook. I mean my Facebook posts since the account was created. I read one by one without missing a single one.

Guess what? It feels so different yet so … ME!

Put aside of lots of flirting involved (though I can’t remember if I realized that someone was flirting or not), I know that if I saw someone who is living my life then, I’d kill to have that kinda lifestyle.

She’s always busy like a bee! Everyone wanna hangout with her all the time (no kidding) Traveling is just part of her life. Been here and there. South and north in 24 hours, or even less… While making another plan going to east?

Always become a centre of attention when in crowds (unintended), or I’d say she just flaunt herself to the stage, gracefully!

Everyone in her life is considers important! Even a student call her cool sister! Always have a silly conversation with everyone! Seriously, everyone!

I envy her, i envy my old me,

I know, part of me has become a weeeee bit better than she was. But, there is that little something that i missed. Can i go back and be her?

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Let it go

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I know. I should learn how to let this feeling out. Cry it out loud. Letting out whatever in here.

But, the thing is… I have no one.

Depression

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I don’t know.

Sometimes I think I am just a lazy chick, lying on the bed, most of the time.

And then, when I go through some facts on depression, I started to think ” Oh, maybe I caught on this depression-thingy?”

Then, I think ” Naah, you are just creating a nonsense reason for being lazy”

I just don’t know. Don’t know how to get out of this loop. And, it has been more than 6 months my thesis were left hang.

Help me. Anyone, please?

N.

Just because

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I feel like I wanna cry.
But …
I don’t know how. Since there is no reason to.
For such a long time.

And …
I am not happy either.

N.

My solo travel.

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Yes! I finally did it! Finally!!!

To plan for this trip ain’t easy. Yups! Since i actually have no plan about it.

It is just a spontaneous action that i took when thinking to find something new in my life. New perspective. New definition of most of the smallest things that i don’t think have any insignificant in my life before. Thus, leads to new purpose of my life. Perhaps.

Well, it started long time ago. I know that i have to break free from my comfort zone.
But, first of all.. I have to consider on the financial issue that gonna raise from this sweet escape. I don’t wanna crush my piggy bank. Even a cent. Heh!

Stay tuned.

N